Skip to content
Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

Main Street Plaza

A Community for Anyone Interested in Mormonism.

“These beautifully flawed vessels”: The Conclusion of ExMormon!

chanson, June 21, 2010

LDS Godhead

I love to joke around. I’ve got the perfect joke for just this occasion. It’s an oldie, so stop Me if you’ve heard it:

Way back when Jesus and I were creating the world, I turned to Him and said “Hey Jesus, let’s create a really gorgeous mountainous region, with lakes and rivers full of fish, beautiful canyons, waterfalls, valleys, and peaks…”

Then Jesus said “But Dad, that’ll never fly! Everyone will want to live there, and it will get so crowded, it will suck!”

Then I said “I’m one step ahead of You Jesus, My boy! Why do You think I created Mormons?”

Hahahahahahahahaha!

I’m just kidding, of course! The Mormons are My chosen people these days, so that’s why I love having a little fun with them!

Now this whole idea of leaving the only true church is so completely nuts that I couldn’t help but be fascinated when I noticed that some of My children were organizing a whole conference just for people whom I was planning on sending to outer darkness. Being omniscient and all, of course I knew it was going to happen. But that didn’t make it any less entertaining to watch!

Not the conference itself, mind you — heavens, no! I avoided that like the plague! A bunch of egg-headed lectures on History, Theology, Philosophy and any other dry poindexter subject that My naughtiest children could possibly research at length! Yawnsville! It was as bad as Sacrament Meeting! Well, almost.

But there was plenty of fun stuff going on in the coffee houses and bars in the surrounding area. Here’s what I saw: Read the rest of the story

Elohim Humor Literature

Post navigation

Previous post
Next post

Related Posts

ExMormon — The Final Chapter!

May 29, 2010May 29, 2010

Many of you are no doubt aware that almost all of the novel ExMormon has been posted online — serialized from here. And now it’s getting to be time to finally post the last chapter! There’s just one catch: Remember how I’ve said that each of the individual novellas can…

Read More

Heart-shaped Cookies (Youth Conference continues)

April 23, 2007

We stepped out of the building and found a low brick wall that we could sit on with no one around. “Well?” I asked. “I’ve brought a little present that I was thinking we could give to Y and Z. I baked them a batch of delicious heart-shaped cookies.” Read…

Read More

Alan Osmond, Macho Man

November 1, 2011November 14, 2011

From the YouTube description: Eldest Osmond brother Alan says in a new interview that the Osmond Brothers’ dancing was too effeminate, so they brought in Chuck Norris, who basically taught them how to add karate-style moves to make it more manly. Says Osmond: “Chuck, we need to toughen up our…

Read More

Comments (2)

  1. Chino Blanco says:
    June 22, 2010 at 5:29 am

    “Here stands Brother Brigham, his arm out perched — his hand to the bank, his back to the church.”

    Yeah, I think I’ve seen that statue somewhere before.

  2. chanson says:
    June 22, 2010 at 6:48 am

    If you look at the picture, I drew the statue towering over a road with cars driving through what is now Main Street Plaza. If my memory isn’t failing me, that’s what it was like before the public road was ceded to the CoJCoL-dS.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mormon Alumni Association Books

Latest Comments:

  1. Kenneth on Joseph Smith: The Prophet of the Restoration (review)October 11, 2025

    Yes. It is propaganda in a sense, whitewashes history. But a church's job to promote faith. This piece as just…

  2. Monya Baker on Review of “Filling Empty” by Randy C. WattsOctober 5, 2025

    Thanks for sharing: patience and compassion are such essential virtues!

  3. fapello on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesSeptember 19, 2025

    This powerful account deeply resonated with me. Kitchens vulnerability and courage in navigating his faith, love, and the churchs rigid…

  4. Tent revival: ur doin it rong | MORIAH JOVAN on Mormonism = evangelical megachurch wannabes?July 25, 2025

    […] Hat tip Main Street Plaza. […]

  5. chanson on LDS vs LGBTQ:  Nathan Kitchen sheds false binariesApril 16, 2025

    The haiku at the end is lovely. Sounds like a great book!

8: The Mormon Proposition Acceptance of Gays Add new tag Affirmation angry exmormon awards Book Reviews BYU comments Conformity Dallin H. Oaks DAMU disaffected mormon underground Dustin Lance Black Ex-Mormon Exclusion policy Excommunicated exmormon faith Family feminism Gay Gay Love Gay Marriage Gay Relationships General Conference Happiness Homosexual Homosexuality LDS LGBT LGBTQ Link Bomb missionaries Modesty Mormon Mormon Alumni Association Mormonism motherhood peace politics Polygamy priesthood ban Sunstone temple

Awards

William Law X-Mormon of the Year:

  • 2023: Adam Steed
  • 2022: David Archuleta
  • 2021: Jeff T. Green
  • 2020: Jacinda Ardern
  • 2019: David Nielsen
  • 2018: Sam Young
  • 2017: Savannah
  • 2016: Jeremy Runnells
  • 2015: John Dehlin
  • 2014: Kate Kelly
  • 2013: J. Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson
  • 2012: David Tweede
  • 2011: Joanna Brooks
  • 2010: Monica Bielanko
  • 2009: Walter Kirn

Other Cool Sites!

WasMormon.org
©2025 Main Street Plaza | WordPress Theme by SuperbThemes