Some thirty years ago, not long after I’d quit going to church, Mark and I moved out of the Dallas suburbs and into town. The move brought a dramatic change in both neighborhood and church dynamics. In the suburbs the directory for our highly active Mormon ward was a tidy list contained on the front and back of a single page. But the new ward directory was a whopping 10 pages.
On the first Sunday after our move, I got a call from my old pal.
Her: Hi Donna, how’s the new ward?
Me: (Sigh, she still doesn’t get it.) Well, (Old Pal), as you know I quit attending church months ago. So, I haven’t been.
Her: (Giggle, giggle.) Oh, you.
Me: (She’ll never get it.) But the ward list is 10 pages long, so that says something.
Her: Only that they can’t divide the ward because there isn’t enough priesthood to fill the leadership callings.
Me: (Pausing while another mental shelf collapses.) Well, they don’t need ME then.
A quick flip through the directory proved my old pal right. The list was dominated by female-led households, all of them absent of any practical authority in their male-led church.
There’s no getting around it. Men run the LDS Church. Forget the sugary platitudes. We don’t share the priesthood with our husbands. We aren’t equal because we “get to” have babies. We don’t have the “higher calling.” And to the kindly, condescending bishop who once asked me, “If you had the priesthood, Donna, which calling would you want?” I would like to rephrase my answer: “All of them. Starting with yours.”
Recently, in a worldwide televised devotional, J. Anette Dennis, First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, posited a new theory. That is, that all LDS women receive the priesthood via the temple endowment. She went on to claim that LDS women have even more power than those of other faiths: “There are religions that ordain some women to positions such as priests and pastors, but very few relative to the number of women in their congregations receive that authority that their church gives them.”
If a woman actually thinks that the priesthood is an intangible, cosmic superpower enabling her to channel Jesus whilst composing her potluck casserole, then she’s probably down with that temple endowment explanation. But I believe that most LDS women, even the most devout, think the priesthood exists in the positions of power bestowed on the exclusively male leadership of their church.
No offense, Sister Dennis, but allowing even a few women to serve in positions of authority would greatly alter the experience for all women in any given ward. (The same could be said for the very few women who serve in the U.S. Senate.)
But until the Brethren make an unlikely about-face on this issue, LDS sisters might follow the advice of Kierstyn Kremer Howes, who, in some recent op-eds, suggested women boycott church on some designated Sundays.
Works for me every Sunday.
Still Sharing It With Our Husbands
“If a woman actually thinks that the priesthood is an intangible, cosmic superpower enabling her to channel Jesus whilst composing her potluck casserole, then she’s probably down with that temple endowment explanation.”
Made me laugh, and also like the idea of a boycott
What she says about other churches is just not true—at least not the churches I’m most familiar with. But comparisons aside, women have no real authority in Mormonism. The Relief Society and Primary are ultimately subject to men.
@Monya, yeah, I don’t know how successful the boycott was. But anytime people speak out like this I’m encouraged.
@Jeff, yes, men still run the LDS Church and her comparison to other churches was pretty lame. I’ve never liked the “my church is better than your church” argument. I wish the Mormons would give it up. It only demonstrates the lack of confidence endemic to their culture.
It’s kind of amazing that so many women are willing to give so much to an organisation that systematically excludes them from leadership. I would expect that more men than women would want to be a part of this organisation that gives them an automatic step up, but — as your ward list showed — it seems to be the opposite.
Any idea why?
Chanson, I wondered the same thing after reading Sister Dennis’s ridiculous claim that all LDS women have priesthood. How can a seemingly intelligent woman say, much less believe that? I suppose in her case the prestige and perks of leadership, alongside a lifetime of cultural immersion might serve as explanation. Also her economic advantages probably go a long way toward sheltering her world view. But why a single working mom would put up with such a system? You got me.
I’d like to think the majority of the women on my former ward’s list were inactive. I certainly know many single ex-Mormon women who left because of the misogyny. But then, there’s always that “I have to stay in for my children” argument. Which makes me cringe!
Yeah, I find it bewildering that people think that the CoJCoL-dS is good for kids!
Your post is right in line with this NY Times article. The gaslighting from the church is strong:
Wow. I guess she doesn’t get out much, does she?
@chanson, when I was a Mormon–way back when–I remember there was a discrepancy between when the prophet was “speaking as a man” vs. “speaking as a prophet.” Now the difference seems to be when the leaders are “speaking to the members” vs. “speaking to the world/press.” When Sister Dennis summarized the practices of “other religious organizations,” she was clearly speaking to her other sisters, who’ve a limited knowledge of such practices.
But…oopsie! The NY Times picked it up. And in that context, she sounds rather silly, doesn’t she? (snort)
Correction. I meant to say that Sis. Dennis was speaking to “many” of her fellow sisters. I know a number of believing LDS women who are savvy enough about other faiths to know Dennis’s assertion is false. –Making her statement even more foolish!
That women are elevated to priestesses in the temple also creates a contradiction in Mormon doctrine and practice. Are women priestesses as in the temple or are they not priestesses as the Church leadership enforces in Mormon live?